Why Phases of the Moon?

Vol. 2, No. 8 / second new moon of July 2011

Phases of the Moon, the newsletter of the Maine NVC Network
Volume Two, Issue Eight: Integrating NVC through Daily Practice

Our newsletter appears once a month around the time of the new moon. Our purpose is to contribute to the NVC learning of people who have taken at least an NVC Level 1 workshop, and help us stay connected as we endeavor to deepen a culture of peace within ourselves, our families and the world. We believe a Level 1 offers so many new ways of thinking that additional support for learning and integration could be helpful.

We endeavor to make each edition informative, connecting, inspiring and fun. Please let us know how the newsletter might contribute to your NVC well-being.

This month's theme is Integrating NVC through Daily Practice. This issue focuses on daily practices that can aid us in shifting from judgmental right/wrong thinking to nonviolent consciousness, moving from disconnection toward connection.

Contents

• Feature: Daily Practices for Integrating NVC Naturally, by Peggy Smith, CNVC certified NVC trainer
• Suggestions for Further Practice
• Upcoming Trainings
• Poetry Corner
• Practice Group News & other Network Announcements
• Opportunities to Volunteer
• Crossword Puzzle

Daily Practices for Integrating NVC Naturally

by Peggy Smith, CNVC certified NVC trainer

Attending an NVC introductory workshop often inspires us to move toward needs-based consciousness. This way of thinking is a major shift from the right/wrong, good/bad thinking that we have been raised with. It takes time and conscious effort to build new neural pathways in the brain to move NVC from an inspiring theory to a way of life.

With two days of training we have not yet had enough practice in using the four-step framework of NVC: Observation, Feelings, Needs, Requests. (OFNR) It is useful to take 5–15 minutes several times a week to think about a situation and apply the OFNR framework to it.

There are other ways that I can purposefully shift my thinking and speaking to strengthen NVC thought patterns. Remember, NVC is more than a four-step formula; it is an attitude of compassionate self-responsibility. For concrete actions that anyone can incorporate into their thoughts and speech without sounding NVC-ish, consider the following chart.

It has been my experience that by consciously incorporating each of the six strategies for compassionate thinking presented in the chart above, my mindset builds the internal attitude that supports the integration of OFNR. In this way, NVC becomes my primary way of thinking, sounding natural and connecting when I choose to speak it out loud.

For the next six weeks, work with the chart in the feature article. Each week pick one of the translation suggestions from the chart and make a conscious effort to practice it. When you find yourself stating something using judgmental thinking, take a moment to restate the sentence using one of the translation choices.

It is important to remember that by becoming aware of the judgments we use in our everyday speech, we build our internal freedom to make other choices. I find it helpful to acknowledge that I just worded something in a way I don’t enjoy and would like to take a moment to restate it in a way that resonates with my values.

I have deep appreciation for CNVC certified trainers Sura Hart & Victoria Kindle Hodson for all they do to develop curriculum for NVC, and the practicality of their needs-based writing. Please read one of their contributions: Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids, The Compassionate Classroom, or The No-Fault Classroom. The chart that is the core of this month's feature is slightly modified from their work. (Books available here)

Peggy Smith is co-founder of the Maine NVC Network and founder/principal trainer with Open Communication
Contact Open Communication for a presentation on NVC for your organization or business.

back to top

Upcoming Trainings

Trainings listed here are in the Maine region. If you wish to list an event, please follow our guidelines for submission. Please note that both certified and non-certified trainers, (who are willing to follow certain requirements of the Center for Nonviolent Communication, may be leading the posted trainings. Listing here does not imply endorsement by the Maine NVC Network of the trainer or the event.

August 8–12, Hutchinson Center, Belfast, ME
PAX 495: Sustainable Communication

NVC 3 credit course in UMaine Peace Studies Dept.
Advanced Topics in Peace & Reconciliation
Combined NVC level 1 & 2 with full 3 credits

Do you know of students home in Maine for the summer who would enjoy getting 3 credits for a week long course in NVC? Do you know of educators, counselors, social workers or health care professionals looking for credits for recertification? Please let them know about this opportunity.

Taught by Peggy Smith / details and registration

Sept. thru Dec., Belfast and Falmouth, ME
Intermediate Immersion Group with Peggy Smith, certified NVC trainer

Pre-requisite a minimum of 4 days of NVC training with a certified NVC trainer.
3rd Saturday of each month in Falmouth
3rd Sunday of each month in Belfast
9:00 – 1:00 each session
details: Falmouth / Belfast

Sept. 9-10, South Portland, ME
Bridges of Connection: Using Nonviolent Communication to Enhance Our Efforts

Taught by Peggy Smith & Karen Groat
This workshop will be focused for mediators, lawyers, social workers and school personnel.
details and registration

September 9 (evening), Sept. 30 (evening), and Oct. 1, Portland, ME
Bridges of Connection: Using Nonviolent Communication to Enhance Our Relationships

A Level 1 workshop with Peggy Smith, certified NVC trainer
details and registration

Talk at the Common Ground Country Fair
"Thinking Nonviolently - Building a Future"

by Peggy Smith, representing the Maine NVC Network at the Social Political Action Speaker's Tent
Two opportunities to hear the talk:
Friday, September 23, at 1pm & Saturday, September 24, at 5 pm

 

back to top

Poetry Corner Almost A Conversation by Mary Oliver I have not really, not yet, talked with otter about his life. He has so many teeth, he has trouble with vowels. Wherefore our understanding is all body expression— he swims like the sleekest fish, he dives and exhales and lifts a trail of bubbles. Little by little he trusts my eyes and my curious body sitting on the shore. Sometimes he comes close. I admire his whiskers and his dark fur which I would rather die than wear. He has no words, still what he tells about his life is clear. He does not own a computer. He imagines the river will last forever. He does not envy the dry house I live in. He does not wonder who or what is it that I worship. He wonders, morning after morning, that the river is so cold and fresh and alive, and still I don’t jump in. - Evidence, p. 30   Visit our Facebook page: Nonviolent Communication, Mindfullness, Empathy and Presence           Do you want to receive emails about upcoming NVC trainings and other NVC events in and near Maine? Join the Maine NVC Network Yahoo Group The group is moderated and is only used for announcements of regional workshops and other Maine NVC Network events. Inclusion in list serve announcements does not imply endorsement by the Network.

Call for Volunteers The health of the Network depends on the joyful efforts of all who yearn to bring nonviolent consciousness to our region. To learn more, email our volunteer coordinator. Upcoming Opportunities MOFGA Common Ground Fair September 23-25, Unity, ME Enjoy three hours of life-serving presence at the Nonviolent Communication booth and receive one day free admission to MOFGA’s Common Ground Fair. As a volunteer at the Maine NVC Network booth you will connect with fair goers, hand out information about upcoming workshops and answer questions about NVC. The rest of the day is yours to delight in the fair. Slots fill up on a first-come basis. The booth has three tickets for each day. Email to volunteer back to top NVC Practice Group Announcements & News New NVC Study / Practice group forming in Bar Harbor, ME, area this September This group will be open to people wanting to learn NVC with no prior experience. For more information please contact Sandy or Burt Haggett: 207-288-0085 / email Drop by and visit the Network booths at Brunswick Peace Fair August 6, Brunswick, ME Common Ground Fair, Social Action Area Sept. 23–25, Unity, ME Outreach Committee Request The Outreach Committee of the Maine NVC Network is looking for a few people with interest and expertise in getting the message and work of NVC onto the radar of more of the citizens of Maine. We are looking for more presence for NVC in all sorts of media, and through personal contacts in professional organization, in each county of the State. We would love to hear from you! If you are willing to serve as a valued consultant, join the committee or have questions, please email us.

back to top

Why "Phases of the Moon" as the name of our newsletter?
We think of the moon as representing our NVC practice: although we might not always be able to see it, it is always there.
Sometimes we are deeply self-connected to our compassionate self and our NVC consciousness radiates as the full moon. Sometimes we lose self-connection and we steep in judgment and blame; then our NVC consciousness is as hard to find as the new moon. Most of the time we can show our compassionate natures partially, as the waxing and waning of the moon.

We welcome your feedback and contributions. If you have a poem, NVC celebration, or a question for Dear Giraffe that you would like to contribute, please email us with "contribution" in the subject line. Material included in future issues is up to the discretion of the newsletter team.

Newsletter team: Peggy Smith, Kristi Kirkham, and Betsy Terrell

Photo credits, (all photos used with permission):
Eclipse of 2008, © Brad, stockvault.net; stepping stones © aurelia neutrino; White Otter © Nilanjan Bhattacharya | Dreamstime.com

Subscribe to this newsletter (We do not share our mailing list with anyone else, EVER.)