Why Phases of the Moon?

Vol. 7, No. 9 / October 2016

Phases of the Moon, the newsletter of the Maine NVC Network
Volume Seven, Issue Nine:
NVC & Social Change, Part 3

Our newsletter appears approximately once a month. Our purpose is to contribute to the NVC learning of people who have taken at least an NVC Level 1 workshop, and help us stay connected as we endeavor to deepen a culture of peace within ourselves, our families and the world. We believe a Level 1 offers so many new ways of thinking that additional support for learning and integration could be helpful.

We endeavor to make each edition informative, connecting, inspiring and fun. Please let us know how the newsletter might contribute to your NVC well-being. Email: newsletter at mainenvcnetwork.org

In continuation of our current focus on Social Change, this month we feature an article on Transitioning from Domination Culture to a Culture of Peace.

Contents Feature: Transition Zone, by Betsy Terrell Upcoming Trainings Monthly Empathy Circles and other Ongoing groups Poetry Corner Paid Announcements

Transition Zone

by Betsy Terrell

Early in my NVC studies, I attended several of Peggy Smith's Level 1 workshops. At that time she was introducing the class with a chart which was titled "Which Game?" On one side was a list of words representing goals, motivations, and strategies under the heading of "The Game of Naming & Blaming." On the other side was a corresponding list of words under the heading of "The Game of Giving & Receiving."

As I came to realize that NVC was not a "magic formula" that would automatically change my life and relationships just by using the "right" words, I began to understand that this process of learning and integrating NVC represented, to me, a deep shift of consciousness, a complete change of world view.

Around this same time, I read Marshall Rosenberg's article on Anger and Domination Systems. Also, I was aware that many people all over the Earth were talking about and working toward a "paradigm shift," aspects of which seemed to me to be pretty clearly described in Marshall's article.

Knowing that consciousness shifts of this magnitude rarely if ever take place in a flash of eureka, but rather in a gradual, slow, incremental, 3 steps forward-2 steps back, sort of way, I began to think that the chart could be improved by the addition of a middle column, describing an intermediate zone of function, one that was neither Naming and Blaming, but also not fully and purely Giving and Receiving; a transition zone, a zone of practice and growth toward the "new" future paradigm of peace and mutual understanding.

What resulted is shown below.

One of the ways this chart has been, and still is, useful for me, is that it lets me examine for myself where I am functioning in any particular interaction. More awareness allows greater freedom of choice. If I notice I am acting/reacting from the Domination Culture, I can choose a thought pattern or behavior from the Transition Zone, especially if I am unable to shift immediately to a behavior from the third column, the Culture of Peace. I've also found it very useful to check in reflectively from time to time and assess where I have observed myself being/doing most of the time. This allows me to notice my progress and growth and also see areas in which I can make better efforts, as well as mapping HOW to make those efforts.

I am thrilled to have the opportunity to share this chart with the newsletter audience, and invite anyone with questions or comments to email me at newsletter@mainenvcnetwork.org

Betsy is a lifelong mindfulness practitioner who added NVC to her practice about a decade ago.

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Ongoing Monthly Empathy Circle: Belfast, ME Second Friday of each month, 10am-1pm (formerly first Friday) Open Communication office, 243 High Street, Belfast You are welcome to come when you can. If this is your first time coming, please contact Linda beforehand: Phone 207-322-2122 email: chezcote5 at gmail.com Authentic Communication Groups Falmouth, ME with Andrea Ferrante, trainer and coach Two groups meet biweekly, one on alternate Wednesdays; the other on alternate Mondays. Authentic Communication Groups are coaching groups designed to open you up to an approach to living that offers greater peace, personal empowerment, and conscious connection to that which sustains and enriches life. FMI See also the Practice Groups page.   Do you want to receive emails about upcoming NVC trainings and other NVC events in and near Maine? Join the Maine NVC Network Yahoo Group The group is moderated and is only used for announcements of regional workshops and other Maine NVC Network events. Inclusion in list serve announcements does not imply endorsement by the Network. back to top

Poetry Corner: WILD GEESE by Mary Oliver You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting — over and over announcing your place in the family of things.   Visit our Facebook page: Nonviolent Communication, Mindfullness, Empathy and Presence

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Why "Phases of the Moon" as the name of our newsletter?
We think of the moon as representing our NVC practice: although we might not always be able to see it, it is always there.
Sometimes we are deeply self-connected to our compassionate self and our NVC consciousness radiates as the full moon. Sometimes we lose self-connection and we steep in judgment and blame; then our NVC consciousness is as hard to find as the new moon. Most of the time we can show our compassionate natures partially, as the waxing and waning of the moon.

We welcome your feedback and contributions. If you have a poem, NVC celebration, or a question for Dear Giraffe that you would like to contribute, please email us, with "contribution" in the subject line. Material included in future issues is up to the discretion of the newsletter team. Email: newsletter at mainenvcnetwork.org

Newsletter team: Peggy Smith, Betsy Terrell

Photo credits:
Eclipse of 2008, © Brad, stockvault.net
Geese by Fons Reijsbergen
other photo(s) aurelia neutrino

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